Monday, September 22, 2008

When a Young Caregiver looses Someone

Usually, you don't hear too much about people my age witnessing so much death and spending time caring for friends they love. Most my age are quite selfish and would rather hang with friends then think about others. They'd rather party, drink and smoke their life away, and find the next person to get laid with. (My generation is in deep trouble and only God can help.) I, and my group of childhood friends, who are still together by the way, have a different attitude.

When one falls ill, everyone helps. When one dies, we all mourn the loss. All of us have been told quite often that we are wise beyond our years. I can say it is because all that we've been through and all that we've seen and witnessed that hasgiven us a peak into a whole other world that most dont have an opportunity to see. While it has caused some heartache and sadness, a whole lot was to gain. I thank God for all that I experienced--good and bad--as I can use it to help others. My friends do the same.

All of my friends and I, some point in our lives were caregivers, whether we have cared for the mentally challenged or the sick. Along with the tears, we have gained so many rewards.

I had a friend, who passed away this spring from AIDS. I cared for her when she got hurt and did not care about what others thought. I was even exposed to her blood but was spared by the good Lord Jehovah God, as two tests in a six month span came back negative. No doubt, I celebrated with crabs, as I was thankful not to have HIV. What's more, I did not want to be the next in our tight circle to fall dead and cause the others to mourn. We have had enough of that in the last five years.

Last year, someone dear to us died of a heart attack. While she was twice our junior, she still had at least forty years ahead of her. On the bus one day, her heart just stopped. Nobody knows why because she was the biggest health nut. It happened last November, and it hurt us. This woman was extraordinary, as she was a strong pioneer for the blind community and the rights of the people. May she rest in peace. I know i'll see her again in paradise when she is resurrected by the good Lord.

I took care of a childhood friend, who by the way is still living thank God, who was ill for sometime. He contracted Hep. C from bad blood given to him in a transfusion as a child. What a shame, as he is so good with music and is very bright. We pray he lives further into adulthood with the rest of us.

Another girl that we went to school with passed away with stomach cancer a year and a half after we all graduated. I can remember her and how sweet she was. She was so innocent, so nice, so humble. Gosh! I miss her. We all do.

Another one in our group is fighting hard against cancer of the eye. She spent her entire summer in the hospital and is a real true soldier. We continue to pray for her, as she keeps hanging on. Jehovah God be with her.

That is enough. I don't want ot make this post one of great lamenting. I wanted to share some background that my friends and I have had before I give any advice on how a young person should cope with such major losses.

Now that you have the background, I must share some wonderful advice with people in their early twenties, who've lost almost half of their friends in death and who have played a major role in caring for sick and frail people their own age, not the elderly.

First and formost, realize that it is okay to grieve. Grieving is normal and is part of the healing process. Any normal person is going to grieve the loss of the one they love.

Secondly, surround yourself with supportive people. Many times, just being in the presents of others helps you to know you are not alone. A lot of the time, good friends will share in your pain and do anything they can to help.

Keep busy. If you stay idle for too long, depression will set in.

Prayer to Jehovah God is another important part of healing. He understands better than anyone else what you are going through. Throw your worries upon him if you are feeling weary, and he shall give you rest.--Matthew 11:28-30. If you are looking at this post and are seeking to find instant comfort, I'll put the verse here for you to see. It reads:

28 Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light.”

With that verse said, you'll really want to meditate on the Scriptures and Jehovah God's promise for mankind, as this has been the most comforting for my lossess and pain. For all the negative things we have to say to ourselves, God always has a positive answer.

When we say, "I feel so alone," God says, “I will never fail you.
I will never abandon you.”--Hebrews 13:5

When we say, "I'm so scared," God's word says, "For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline."--2 Timothy 1:7.

When we say, "I feel so anxious and worried," God's word says, "Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus."--Philippians 4:6,7.

When we say, "I can't go on," God says, "Don’t be afraid, for I am with you. Don’t be discouraged, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with my victorious right hand."--Isaiah 41:10.

When we say, "I can't take anymore. Life is just too hard," God says, “I will rescue those who love me. I will protect those who trust in my name. When they call on me, I will answer; I will be with them in trouble. I will rescue and honor them. I will reward them with a long life and give them my salvation.”--Psalm 91:14-16.

When we say, "I can't do it," God's word says, "For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength."--Philippians 4:13

These are just a few examples: however, the list could go on. Meditating on just these very things will help. Could you imagine what you'd find in the pages of his word if you read it all the time and carefully examined it?

Finally, remember the good times. Also, pat yourself on the back because you stuck by their side and took care of them until the end.

I hope this has helped.

How a Blind Person Can Be a Caregiver

You may be looking at the title of this post thinking that you are seeing things. But sure enough, a blind person, just like anyone else, is quite capable of caring for the ones they love and care about. To see how it is done, I encourage you to visit and look for the podcast titled, Blind Caregiver. On this podcast, I tell how it is done and give examples. I hope this not only opens the eyes of the sighted world, i also hope this strengthens those who are blind caregivers. Enjoy it, and i look forward to your feedback.

To All My Readers

Since December of 2007, I had a career change. I started my own company repairing, troubleshooting, and fixing computers, which has caused me to be busy beyond belief! i'd like to appologize for not adding more fresh information to this blog in a timely fashion and promise to stay on top of hings. I felt I owed you all an appology.

I want to thank all of you for your support,your wonderful emails, and for some of your comments. I love hearing from you all, as it truly enriches my blogging experience. Should you have any questions about anything at all, or should you want to see certain information up on this blog, please let me know.

Soon, i will be offering an opertunity for others to be invited here so they may share caregiving information base on personal experiences to help anyone who may come into contact with this blog on their quest to find proper information and advice for dealing with something so difficult. If you are interested in participating, please send an email to This is the company email, and it is checked daily several times a day. So I will not miss any responses.

Thanks so much for your continuous reading of my blog, and stay tuned for more.