Monday, September 22, 2008

When a Young Caregiver looses Someone

Usually, you don't hear too much about people my age witnessing so much death and spending time caring for friends they love. Most my age are quite selfish and would rather hang with friends then think about others. They'd rather party, drink and smoke their life away, and find the next person to get laid with. (My generation is in deep trouble and only God can help.) I, and my group of childhood friends, who are still together by the way, have a different attitude.

When one falls ill, everyone helps. When one dies, we all mourn the loss. All of us have been told quite often that we are wise beyond our years. I can say it is because all that we've been through and all that we've seen and witnessed that hasgiven us a peak into a whole other world that most dont have an opportunity to see. While it has caused some heartache and sadness, a whole lot was to gain. I thank God for all that I experienced--good and bad--as I can use it to help others. My friends do the same.

All of my friends and I, some point in our lives were caregivers, whether we have cared for the mentally challenged or the sick. Along with the tears, we have gained so many rewards.

I had a friend, who passed away this spring from AIDS. I cared for her when she got hurt and did not care about what others thought. I was even exposed to her blood but was spared by the good Lord Jehovah God, as two tests in a six month span came back negative. No doubt, I celebrated with crabs, as I was thankful not to have HIV. What's more, I did not want to be the next in our tight circle to fall dead and cause the others to mourn. We have had enough of that in the last five years.

Last year, someone dear to us died of a heart attack. While she was twice our junior, she still had at least forty years ahead of her. On the bus one day, her heart just stopped. Nobody knows why because she was the biggest health nut. It happened last November, and it hurt us. This woman was extraordinary, as she was a strong pioneer for the blind community and the rights of the people. May she rest in peace. I know i'll see her again in paradise when she is resurrected by the good Lord.

I took care of a childhood friend, who by the way is still living thank God, who was ill for sometime. He contracted Hep. C from bad blood given to him in a transfusion as a child. What a shame, as he is so good with music and is very bright. We pray he lives further into adulthood with the rest of us.

Another girl that we went to school with passed away with stomach cancer a year and a half after we all graduated. I can remember her and how sweet she was. She was so innocent, so nice, so humble. Gosh! I miss her. We all do.

Another one in our group is fighting hard against cancer of the eye. She spent her entire summer in the hospital and is a real true soldier. We continue to pray for her, as she keeps hanging on. Jehovah God be with her.

That is enough. I don't want ot make this post one of great lamenting. I wanted to share some background that my friends and I have had before I give any advice on how a young person should cope with such major losses.

Now that you have the background, I must share some wonderful advice with people in their early twenties, who've lost almost half of their friends in death and who have played a major role in caring for sick and frail people their own age, not the elderly.

First and formost, realize that it is okay to grieve. Grieving is normal and is part of the healing process. Any normal person is going to grieve the loss of the one they love.

Secondly, surround yourself with supportive people. Many times, just being in the presents of others helps you to know you are not alone. A lot of the time, good friends will share in your pain and do anything they can to help.

Keep busy. If you stay idle for too long, depression will set in.

Prayer to Jehovah God is another important part of healing. He understands better than anyone else what you are going through. Throw your worries upon him if you are feeling weary, and he shall give you rest.--Matthew 11:28-30. If you are looking at this post and are seeking to find instant comfort, I'll put the verse here for you to see. It reads:

28 Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light.”

With that verse said, you'll really want to meditate on the Scriptures and Jehovah God's promise for mankind, as this has been the most comforting for my lossess and pain. For all the negative things we have to say to ourselves, God always has a positive answer.

When we say, "I feel so alone," God says, “I will never fail you.
I will never abandon you.”--Hebrews 13:5

When we say, "I'm so scared," God's word says, "For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline."--2 Timothy 1:7.

When we say, "I feel so anxious and worried," God's word says, "Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus."--Philippians 4:6,7.

When we say, "I can't go on," God says, "Don’t be afraid, for I am with you. Don’t be discouraged, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with my victorious right hand."--Isaiah 41:10.

When we say, "I can't take anymore. Life is just too hard," God says, “I will rescue those who love me. I will protect those who trust in my name. When they call on me, I will answer; I will be with them in trouble. I will rescue and honor them. I will reward them with a long life and give them my salvation.”--Psalm 91:14-16.

When we say, "I can't do it," God's word says, "For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength."--Philippians 4:13

These are just a few examples: however, the list could go on. Meditating on just these very things will help. Could you imagine what you'd find in the pages of his word if you read it all the time and carefully examined it?

Finally, remember the good times. Also, pat yourself on the back because you stuck by their side and took care of them until the end.

I hope this has helped.

43 comments:

Frankiemcstein said...

"Most my age are quite selfish and would rather hang with friends then think about others. They'd rather party, drink and smoke their life away, and find the next person to get laid with."

it's sad and true... I am also a young caregiver and have been disgusted by the attitudes of my "so called"/former friends towards elderly, handicap and disabled people and their caregivers-

i was once told that what i do is not "real" work so i have no right to be tired or vent about my woes...

thank you for the diaper entry, i was looking online for tips on how to change my sick grandfather diaper more easily than i have been- next time i need to im sure it will help out loads!


keep writing!

幸田來蔚 said...

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3d電影 said...

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雅嵐 said...

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于名于名 said...

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茂珊茂珊 said...

It's great!!..........................................

邦雄 said...

分享笑話三則~
唐僧徵婚
原來還是個母鷹
俺的愛人不是豬

G702aynelleKress0 said...

所有的資產,在不被諒解時,都成了負債 ..................................................

雅威 said...

上來打聲招呼,祝你一切平安! ........................................

OliveWol8888 said...

志不立,天下無可成之事。........................................

嘉玲嘉玲 said...

辛苦了!祝你愈來愈好!.............................................

DianneG_Conatser家銘 said...

在莫非定律中有項笨蛋定律:「一個組織中的笨蛋,恆大於等於三分之二。」.........................

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易英易英 said...

思想與理論,貴呼先於行動,但行動較思想或理論更高貴..............................

ErnestoE_S陽峰ommers0909 said...

噴泉的高度,不會超過它的源頭。一個人的事業也是如此,它的成就絕不會超過自己的信念。..................................................

佩GailBohanan1蓉 said...

Knowledge is a treasure, but practice is the key to it.............................................................

estherme said...

Man proposes, God disposes.............................................................

志維志維志維 said...

It is never too late to learn. .................................................................

彥安 said...

這個時代,不缺乏感傷,但缺乏反思~~希望能多看到值得思考.................................................................

佳燕 said...

死亡是悲哀的,但活得不快樂更悲哀。....................................................................

柏強 said...

幸福不是一切,人還有責任。.................................................................

jackveronic said...

成熟,就是有能力適應生活中的模糊。.................................................................

羅承霞 said...

人有兩眼一舌,是為了觀察倍於說話的緣故。............................................................

JasonBirk佳琪 said...

向著星球長驅直進的人,反比踟躕在峽路上的人,更容易達到目的。............................................................

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Say not all that you know, believe not all that you hear.............................................................

云依恩HFH謝鄭JTR安 said...

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韋志韋志 said...

好東西要和好朋友分享--感謝您............................................................

明儒 said...

我在戀愛著?--------是的,因為我在等待著.................................................................

黃威宇 said...

每日都有新日光,每日都有新希望。..................................................

琬安琬安 said...

thank you so much~~ SUPPORT!!............................................................

余憲希余憲希 said...

It is easier to get than to keep it.......................................................................

黃書豪黃書豪黃書豪 said...

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華汪昕 said...

Learning makes a good man better and ill man worse.............................................................

建邱勳 said...

喜歡自己的另一層意義是「接納自己」。..................................................

凱許倫 said...

人生有些波折,才能有些成長,所以不論順逆,凡是成長、成功的助緣,都應該心存感激。.................................................

文王廷 said...

一棵樹除非在春天開了花,否則難望在秋天結果。............................................................

佳陳生 said...

真正的朋友不會把友誼掛在嘴巴上......................................................................

琬群學葉安高 said...

婚姻對男人來說是賭他的自由,對女人而言卻是賭她的幸福。.................................................................

翊翊翊翊張瑜翊翊翊 said...

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............................................................

郭任任任任任俊任任 said...

友誼能增進快樂,減少痛苦......................................................................

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看到大家都留言-我也忍不住說聲---加油..................................................

石JaquelynS_Whitesi白 said...

may the blessing be always with you!!............................................................